To his chagrin, Ralph Mountfield’s entire extended family has descended on his house for the Christmas holiday. Nasty Great Granny rarely has anything nice to say. Vague Great Aunt Ida is still sharp enough to have an excuse every time the possibility of having to lift a finger is raised. And Ralph’s young cousins—terrorizing twins who wreak havoc and destruction, and an annoying moppet always eager to perform her latest song and dance routine—are the most unwelcome visitors of all. Caught up in the mounting family tension—and sometimes adding to it with his attitude and antics—all is not calm and bright for Ralph. As personalities clash, family togetherness begins to fray in Anne Fine’s hilarious holiday story. Roguishly over-the-top, the novel maintains a lighthearted warmth, acknowledging that this is simply the way families—even loving families—sometimes are. (Ages 9–11)

Everyone knows the story of Christmas. Decking the halls with boughs of holly. Hanging stockings by the chimney with care. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Then there’s the true story of Christmas. And Ralph Mountfield is smack in the middle of it. Great Granny’s crustier than ever. Grandpa’s singing to the dog. Great Aunt Ida is completely crackers. Uncle Tristam’s giving out bricks. The cousins are whining and throwing tantrums. Mum’s looking for Dad. Dad’s looking for aspirin. And Ralph is looking to stay out of trouble. But when a Christmas Quiz brings out some hidden truths, trouble is exactly what Ralph finds. It’s anything but a silent, holy night for the Mountfield family! From the Hardcover edition.